Gentle?

I suppose it depends on the way you view “gentleness”. I take my lead from the fruit of the Spirit. God’s gentleness is not weak. it gets the job done with out being rude, demanding,fluffy, gimmicky, flashy, forced or abrupt. His gentleness is firm, truthful, loving, perfectly timed (indicating it is planned for) and is good, so good. Isn’t that what we are striving for? The way we deliver our lessons, how we choose our books, how we don’t force our own thoughts on them but let the children form their own relationship with knowledge? No predigested smatterings of information in gimmicky packaging, no mindless fluff, no loud forceful cramming it in. That is how I see gentleness playing a pivotal role in our home school atmosphere. That is the kind of gentleness that brings the joy, adventure, wonder, truth, and goodness to the education of my children. What a fine thing to embrace. -tania

Amanda, I kind of have issues with the whole “gentle” business too, and I also think it sort of depends on how “gentle” is interpreted.  Charlotte’s students did very serious work, and lots of it.  I think where “gentleness” comes in is that her method fits children better, takes better account of who children are and how they learn.  I do believe that learning via CM method is much less frustrating to most children than many other methods. Instead of fighting against a child’s nature, it works WITH children’s natures.  But I do get very frustrated with the idea that “CM education” is tea parties and crumpets and letting little children do what they want, and this is a VERY common misconception about CM, I believe.  I grind my teeth when I hear people say “CM is good and gentle and sweet for LITTLE children, but you have to switch to something else (like classical, etc.) for older children.”   AAAARGH!!!  That is SO not true!  I think Charlotte expected a GREAT DEAL out of children, and so do I.  A general rundown of the books Charlotte used and the page counts per year would stagger a lot of current CM educators.  I give my kids VERY hard things to do, and sometimes they even get frustrated, but they are often glad later.  OK, there are a few things we haven’t yet heard the “Oh, I’m so glad you made me do this” yet, but I have faith it’s coming.  My kids read heavy serious books, spend hours on sophisticated math equations, translate Cicero passages, and write papers in French.  They struggle through long poems, do time-intensive titration experiments, and memorize tons of information.  I expect hard things and they do them.  Life is NOT all reading nice novels on the couch and having tea.  It wasn’t in  Charlotte’s training school, either, and we as CM educators should be demonstrating this to the world to counteract the tea-and-crumpets crowd.  Sorry to keep harping on the tea.  LOL  It’s unintentional really but I have a hard time finding other words to express the very mistaken “conventional wisdom” about CM. 

I went to a CM school in the UK from age 5 – 11 years and I can tell you it was not easy. We worked very hard and had lots read to us and read lots ourselves as we got older and had to narrate. Our nature studies each afternoon around the village where I lived was very genteel and lovely, however the notebooks we were expected to do were detailed and our teacher expected exemplary work. PE was rigerous and we had to try the things we were not keen on as well. We had singing, foreign language, cooking, needlework and of course the math and other subjects. The formal lessons took place in the morning from 9-12, then we had lunch and then in the afternoon we had PE and nature study – the nature study was outside rain or shine wind or snow and we were expected to pay strict attention to all we saw, make notes, sketches and then make up our notebooks back in school. Our teachers were kind but firm and expected the best from us, if we were not doing our best our parents were brought in to talk to. In those days if your parents came into school it mattered and we pulled our socks up and got back on track. So no – gentle is not meaning no hard work, no discipline and tea and fancies- oh no not at all. Linda

Bookworm, I agree with you completely!!  I get SO FRUSTRATED about this myth of a CM education.  It is VERY strenuous and top-notch.  The students themselves were responsible for their knowledge.  That said, it doesn’t mean it’s stressful, although it can be at times, which is not always bad either. 

I’ve had so many moms say the same thing…it’s great for young children but sooner or later you have to get to “real school.”  I agree that CM had an understanding of the nature of children that is missing in current culture.  And because of that, her methods fit children of all walks of life.  But what she expected of her students blows me away and I’m often intimidated by the sheer volume of material her students were able to, not only “get through,” but own for themselves.  Amazing.

Ladyofthehouse,

I don’t think of what I’m doing as trying to prove that CM is as strenuous as something else, but I also don’t feel we ought to really aspire to the mantle of “CM” if we are not expecting THE VERY BEST out of our children.  THE VERY BEST.  Anything less is not CM.  CM learning is a joy because it is REAL learning.  But it ought to be REAL learning.  It’s not frippery, not intellectual twinkies, not mental junk food, not a pass on effort.  CM learning will take into account the specific abilities of each child–but if you read Charlotte’s writings carefully, you will see that she had more than a sneaking suspicion that most children were capable of more than was being asked of them.  So too are most of ours.  Charlotte expected of children things that our current culture doesn’t even expect of members of Congress–that they learn to control their impulses, subjugate their wills, display their true characters, work their hardest, do what they ought and not what they ought not, read heavy books and remember things out of them at the end of the term–without “cramming”, etc.  She expected children to enjoy their books, but to enjoy them because mental effort and learning are truly satisfying, NOT because they are always “fun”.  I like “fun” as much as anyone, but it isn’t “fun” to be an adult who cannot control him or herself, who cannot pay strict attention to something, who knows nothing of value, who cannot apply him or herself to the necessary tasks at hand, who cannot show courage or integrity because he has none—we need to remember what we are aiming at, and remember also that ONLY reading on the couch and having tea parties is exceedingly unlikely to turn out adults of that caliber. 

I thought too that maybe the gentle part that appealed to me was the living book vs. the cram this date into your head for the test thing.  I expect my girls to know it and relate it to something meaningful.  This year has been delightful in seeing them free themselves from the stress of flunking the test to seeing them say, “oh, yes…we read a book about that.  It was cool how…. did whatever”.  For all its gentleness, I think CM is actually more demanding a curriculum than any “regular” school because it involves the children way more, and keeps us moms hopping to continue to supply the “feast” of ideas.  I know that I do way more researching and “teaching” this way than I did with an “all you need to teach your child is in this box…” curriculum.  =)  (OK, I admit that I spend lots of time on the computer…)  My mom was just saying yesterday how much she enjoyed talking to my 11dd about Egypt.  Mom was totally impressed by how much dd knew.  We haven’t even completed our study, but she read one living book and loved it.  So, for me, it is enough to be gentle yet thorough, gentle yet excited, gentle yet firm.  It works if given enough time.  It gives me time to ease our way into the whole thing, so I as the teacher do not have to get so overwhelmed as we put it all into practice – I would call that gentle too. =)

I really enjoyed the comments of Bookworm.  I have had people get that “look” when I tell them that I am doing CM – then they tell me that they have to do Thomas Jefferson or that they are training their child to go to graduate school.  I still kinda prickle up thinking about it, but again, most of the time the people who comment are the most ignorant of what CM is.  And, I have a long ways to go before I would feel absolutely confident about wearing the mantle, so to speak, but it is my goal. =) 

Bookworm,

Thanks for your response. This has been an interesting thread :o)